I am in this body. I am not this body. For years, I had issue with people wanting to see me, not this body but my heart, spirit and mind. The vastness of my mind in totality. I felt a dance in my spirit this particular day. It’s kinda my thing. I felt it in my bones.
I had a female suitor stop by my job and she wanted to have tea or coffee after work. Ok no harm in that so I agreed. We met at a local hookah bar, cool! We had tea and talked a little bit, the music was playing and it was laid back. Little did I know but the hookah bar turned into a club scene after a certain hour. No issues I can adapt. Long story short we ended up having to move because they charge for booths after a certain hour also. The DJ hit a serious mix of all the trap songs I love and my first reaction, dance! Get up and dance. I did, a quick wine and two step and I was moved to sit down.
The atmosphere around me changed, the energy changed and I felt angel kisses down my arms. I was looking at the TV, my suitor asked if I liked soccer, I was so dazed I was unsure of what I was watching. I was stuck and could not move. A young fella comes and sits next to me and my angel kisses increased. He asked me to watch his coat, and cash money took over for the 99. But in my seat I was still sitting, I rubbed my arms because those angel kisses would not let up. They came in waves to the point I appeared to be shivering from being cold. My suitor rubbed my arm with hands like icicles, it did nothing for those angel kisses.
Just like that my body was covered, I was trying to distract myself from these feelings by continuing to dance but seated. The young fella that was seated next to me asked me to hold his hookah stick for a second. I agreed and he got up. My suitor had a look like did he just ask you to hold his hookah. She attempted to take it from my hand and put it down. But I sat there and said it’s ok. No coincidences only my spirit leading the way. It forced me to sit still.
I was in overload. I was shifting and shedding right there in a crowded hookah bar. A million thoughts began to filter through my mind. A major question popped into my mind, “WHO, ARE YOU?” It was loud and vibrated in my ears. I was no longer present in my body, although aware of my surroundings. I heard the words of my business associate Parker and friend Bambi. Parker’s words, “This will be epic.” And Bambi, “Everyone is not for you, and the one’s who are you will know.” “My Nubian soul sista, you are more than your body, the right one will see.”
And I sat right there and did not move, holding some strangers hookah stick. I am in this body but I am not this body. “Shakita, what is your legacy?”, my spirit asked me. She continued,” If you always had this thing about people knowing more than your body. Sit right here and feel who you are.”
And I did what I do best I felt, and I understood. I had to see what people saw when they looked at me, I had to feel my purpose, I had to looked beyond that moment. And the question came again, “Shakita, what is your legacy?”
My suitor tried to urge me, with encouraging words of it was ok, I sat right there. I was known and still am known as Shakita with the fat ass depending on who you ask. But is that my legacy.
In that moment, I was no longer just Shakita with the fat ass. I was your girls favorite writer, I was a Reiki Master, I was a Healer, Lightworker. I had become who I was becoming. I had arrived at empowerment.
Right there in a hookah bar, with music blasting, I shifted. Not to become a prisoner but to be aware. I was not the victim. I was the success story. I was not the body but the spirit. And dancing in this place mattered in more ways than one. So I sat there holding this strangers hookah stick. And crossed my legs until he returned. I’m sure my suitor was not to happy about my choice not to dance. But I understood at a deeper level, a grander scale who I was, and what would I be giving to dance seductively to reggae music in front of this stranger? Who would I be giving?
She asked me was I ready to go and I was already fastening my coat. I left the old me right there in the Paradise Lounge Hookah bar.